Here we go! Take a look at the area of life you want to change. What did you write were the facts about this area? Remember, you’re writing only the facts. For example, if I’m not happy with my body image, the facts would be: I’m 5’ 1”. I weigh 112 lbs. I’m 54. I have a current exercise schedule and routine. I pay attention to the food I eat….sometimes etc.

Now, for my fears, judgments and beliefs: I look old. I’m not pretty. I’ll never look the way I did when I was younger. Everyone looks better than I do. My muscle is gone forever. It’s impossible at my age to have the body I’d like to have. I can’t put on a bathing suit. What will people think, blah, blah, blah, fear and judgment, fear and judgment.

How did you do? Did you have a list of fears, judgments and beliefs that go on and on ad nauseum? We all do. It’s important to note this is the chatter that lives in your head…..24/7! This is where you spend the majority of your waking hours. You use your creative imagination to see, perceive, think and respond to a made up version of who you think you are.

Sounds a little crazy I know. Rather than acknowledging the facts and imagining a life the way you want it to be, you live in the imagined fears, judgments and beliefs of life, the way you don’t want them to be. Why would you do this????

I’m waiting on YOUR answer…..

Okie Dokie, are you ready to work on your issues? I am if you are. I love peeling the layers, digging into my trigger events and the issues that push my buttons. I’m clear that what I resist, persists, what I fail to look at will not go away, that God will continue putting things in front of me ‘til I get it right. How many ways can this be said? It all boils down to the same thing.

I create my reality by how I choose to see, perceive, think and respond. Me…I do it! And, I do all of it. So, when I hear myself saying, WTF? Why is this happening to me again? It’s a “note to Tuck”, to put my full attention on what’s in front of me and ask, What’s MY issue?. I’m the one who is triggered here. I’m the one in fear, judgment, anger and frustration. And, I’m the one with the opportunity to heal and change my reality, or not.

Okay, so what was the area of your life YOU chose to change? Was it finances, career, relationships, your body, health, personal or spiritual empowerment? It doesn’t matter what you chose, only that you realize one very important point:

If you don’t have the money you desire, it’s not about the money.
If you don’t have the body image you desire, it’s not about the diet.
If you don’t have the relationship or job you like, it’s not about your lover or your boss.

What it is about - is YOU. It’s about the reality you choose to imagine, dream up, focus on and think about. And then, you make a choice to live in fear of this imagined reality, as if it is true for you.

Sound weird? Grab your sheet where you chose the area of your life you wanted to change…and get ready to rock your world! 

Okay…..this is the part where I get excited. This is where I get jazzed. I love working on issues. What I know from experiences of my own life is taking responsiblity for the circumstances of life transforms it. It’s the secret that makes life work!

Did you know that your greatest work is overcoming your fears? There is nothing that you have to do, no one you need to help and no one who needs you to save them? Everything is as it should be. There is nothing you have to do but transform your fears, live the life you desire and squeeze all the juice and joy from your journey as you can, full out and on your terms! Sounds like freedom doesn’t it??

Okay, so let’s look at how. Here are a few questions to start your process and journey of identifying your issues and overcoming your fears.

Pick an area of your life you want to change, an area where you hear yourself saying ad nauseum, “WTF? Why is this happening to me again?!?”

How do you want it to change?
Why do you want it to change?

What are the facts about this situation, person or event, not what you think and feel about it, simply the facts? Write this down on one side of your paper.

Now, when you think of having this area the way you want it to be, what thoughts come up for you? What are your fears or judgments, your beliefs that say it will never happen, impossible, no way, won’t happen, ever! Write these down on the other side of your paper.
 
Be sure to note how you feel as your answers flow. Are you angry, bitter, frustrated, or perhaps disappointed?

And, finally what do YOU believe keeps this circumstance or person from changing? If it were up to you, what would you do to change it?

Fabulous work! I invite you to share you issues, answers and comments.

TTFN….We’ll ponder your answers later…for now…..I’m going to work on a few of my issues!!
 

Okay…so what’s an issue?

Webster defines an issue as: something that comes from a disordered imagination (disordered imaging…hmmm….does this mean we’re making it up?). My definition of an issue is: a fear, a trigger event that immediately causes a response to defend or blame another, a belief or perception keeping you stuck, paralyzed, in a rut going through the same circumstance over and over, looking for a solution “out there”.

So how do you identify YOUR issues?

Do you have fears? Are you frustrated, annoyed, outraged or triggered by a person or circumstance in your life? Are you driven to fix “them” or “it”, or waiting for “them” or “it” to change, so you can feel better about your life circumstance and who you are?

If this is you, then you have issues. And, if you have issues, then you have fears. And, if you have fears, it means you’re alive and…….there is an end to your struggle! This is good news!! One of your recurring thoughts was, “Is this situation ever going to change?”. The answer……..Absolutely…..…yes, yes, yes and yes!

Your situation, the circumstances and people in your life WILL change. The people and events in your life that push your buttons causing you fear will change………when you change. It’s an inside job, an issue that’s fixed “in here”. Taking responsibility for the frustration, anger and fears you feel, and the trigger events that push your buttons is the key to living a fabulous life, It’s work……but it’s pure freedom!! No longer will you hear yourself say…..WTF? Why is this happening again?!?

So how do you take responsibility for your issues to experience pure freedom and live a fabulous life? Stay tuned for Part 3 – WTF? Why is this happening to me again?

One of my dearest bellefriends shared an email with me this month me. It touched my heart and soul deeply. I am delighted to share it with you.

Look at these precious little girls in a line holding hands, facing the immensity of ocean waves. Alone they might be washed away. Together they stand strong.
• All of us girls. old and young… near and far… hold special memories of good times we’ve shared. 

• We’ve had our share of hard times when our friends were there to make us feel better.

• We’ve shared… our hearts, our time, our secrets, our fears, our hopes and our dreams.

Let us never break the chain of friends!

Thank you each for holding my hand somewhere along the way when I was facing a wave of my own. I hope you will reach for my hand when your own wave threatens.

Now here’s a statement I have been repeating to myself a lot lately! Not only does repeating it make me feel less stressed about circumstances that aren’t mine to control, it also reminds me to observe my reaction to the circumstance.

Somewhere in my reaction is a lesson and pattern of response that’s mine to observe. Sometimes it’s a judgment or a fear, and sometimes an attempt to defend my point of view and make the other person wrong.

Whatever it is, it is mine to discover and release. Or, I can continue to re-create it over and over again, ad nauseum until I do.

For example, let’s say my daughter and ex-husband have a disagreement. She calls me up to share her experience. I listen and am triggered by her explanation of the disagreement. What then?

The truth?  It’s none of my business!

What’s going on between my daughter and ex-husband is none of my business! It is between them. What is my business is my response to the circumstance. I have an opportunity to observe my response, emotional reaction, and listen to the chatter in my head. This is my work and business. 

Pretty simple huh? Actually it’s pure freedom. It makes life a lot less stressful.

For simple yet practical tools to observe and release your triggers and emotional responses to people and events in your life, The Rebel Belle Tool Kit has 2 fun products to assist your process.

The Point of Attraction and The Issue Tissue Products. Check them out and enjoy!