One of my bestest “bellefriends” and mentor’s Dr. Meg Haworth, recently interviewed John Payne, international workshop facilitator of Family Constellation workshops. John shared a wealth of information regarding work that truly gets to the heart of a client’s difficulties, clearing them through a method going far beyond ordinary role playing.

John L. Payne reveals secrets behind fate, destiny and how people can become stuck by events that happened 6 or 7 generations ago. This episode is a must listen for anyone who has a family - that’s everyone!

Listen here….

Here is my answer, at least for today:

Conditioning, limiting beliefs, belief systems, living unconsciously, not deliberately choosing my thoughts, any and all of the above and more…..

Bottom line - my issues are mine to own. My fears are mine to overcome. My energy and my emotional reaction is my responsibility. And what a gift! How fabulous it is that I have the glorious opportunity to empower my own healing.

Overcoming fears, releasing guilt, shame and blame, consciously choosing to change thoughts and beliefs clears what’s in the way of having the fabulous life you deserve.

You are a magnificent creator, with endless possibility for living the life you desire, squeezing the juice and enjoying the ride, full out and on your terms!

So how do you use the exercise you completed to release your issues?

It’s simple in theory….a little more challenging in practice, with the operative word being practice. What you most need to work on in yourself, you will project onto others. What you don’t embrace in yourself, you won’t embrace in others. What you blame and punish in yourself, you blame and punish in others. What you need others to do in order to feel better is what YOU need to do for YOU.

It’s not your fault that you have these behaviors, however once aware of their existence your behavior is YOUR responsibility. I’m here for ya! I’ve been doing this work for a long, long time and I’m still doing it. Our work is never done.

How you approach the work makes all the difference in the world. Fear is your friend. Issues are your gift. Trigger events are opportunities to be present to every moment. As you do your work, your life will change. No longer will you hear yourself saying, WTF? Why is this happening to me again?

“Here we/I go again!
”Is this situation EVER going to change?”
“If THEY/THIS would change my life would be so much better!”

You now know…..YOU are the change!!!!

Click here to access The Rebel Belle’s Carpe Bellepower Products page. Seize your Bellepower and live life you your terms!

Okie Dokie, are you ready to work on your issues? I am if you are. I love peeling the layers, digging into my trigger events and the issues that push my buttons. I’m clear that what I resist, persists, what I fail to look at will not go away, that God will continue putting things in front of me ‘til I get it right. How many ways can this be said? It all boils down to the same thing.

I create my reality by how I choose to see, perceive, think and respond. Me…I do it! And, I do all of it. So, when I hear myself saying, WTF? Why is this happening to me again? It’s a “note to Tuck”, to put my full attention on what’s in front of me and ask, What’s MY issue?. I’m the one who is triggered here. I’m the one in fear, judgment, anger and frustration. And, I’m the one with the opportunity to heal and change my reality, or not.

Okay, so what was the area of your life YOU chose to change? Was it finances, career, relationships, your body, health, personal or spiritual empowerment? It doesn’t matter what you chose, only that you realize one very important point:

If you don’t have the money you desire, it’s not about the money.
If you don’t have the body image you desire, it’s not about the diet.
If you don’t have the relationship or job you like, it’s not about your lover or your boss.

What it is about - is YOU. It’s about the reality you choose to imagine, dream up, focus on and think about. And then, you make a choice to live in fear of this imagined reality, as if it is true for you.

Sound weird? Grab your sheet where you chose the area of your life you wanted to change…and get ready to rock your world! 

Okay…..this is the part where I get excited. This is where I get jazzed. I love working on issues. What I know from experiences of my own life is taking responsiblity for the circumstances of life transforms it. It’s the secret that makes life work!

Did you know that your greatest work is overcoming your fears? There is nothing that you have to do, no one you need to help and no one who needs you to save them? Everything is as it should be. There is nothing you have to do but transform your fears, live the life you desire and squeeze all the juice and joy from your journey as you can, full out and on your terms! Sounds like freedom doesn’t it??

Okay, so let’s look at how. Here are a few questions to start your process and journey of identifying your issues and overcoming your fears.

Pick an area of your life you want to change, an area where you hear yourself saying ad nauseum, “WTF? Why is this happening to me again?!?”

How do you want it to change?
Why do you want it to change?

What are the facts about this situation, person or event, not what you think and feel about it, simply the facts? Write this down on one side of your paper.

Now, when you think of having this area the way you want it to be, what thoughts come up for you? What are your fears or judgments, your beliefs that say it will never happen, impossible, no way, won’t happen, ever! Write these down on the other side of your paper.
 
Be sure to note how you feel as your answers flow. Are you angry, bitter, frustrated, or perhaps disappointed?

And, finally what do YOU believe keeps this circumstance or person from changing? If it were up to you, what would you do to change it?

Fabulous work! I invite you to share you issues, answers and comments.

TTFN….We’ll ponder your answers later…for now…..I’m going to work on a few of my issues!!
 

Okay…so what’s an issue?

Webster defines an issue as: something that comes from a disordered imagination (disordered imaging…hmmm….does this mean we’re making it up?). My definition of an issue is: a fear, a trigger event that immediately causes a response to defend or blame another, a belief or perception keeping you stuck, paralyzed, in a rut going through the same circumstance over and over, looking for a solution “out there”.

So how do you identify YOUR issues?

Do you have fears? Are you frustrated, annoyed, outraged or triggered by a person or circumstance in your life? Are you driven to fix “them” or “it”, or waiting for “them” or “it” to change, so you can feel better about your life circumstance and who you are?

If this is you, then you have issues. And, if you have issues, then you have fears. And, if you have fears, it means you’re alive and…….there is an end to your struggle! This is good news!! One of your recurring thoughts was, “Is this situation ever going to change?”. The answer……..Absolutely…..…yes, yes, yes and yes!

Your situation, the circumstances and people in your life WILL change. The people and events in your life that push your buttons causing you fear will change………when you change. It’s an inside job, an issue that’s fixed “in here”. Taking responsibility for the frustration, anger and fears you feel, and the trigger events that push your buttons is the key to living a fabulous life, It’s work……but it’s pure freedom!! No longer will you hear yourself say…..WTF? Why is this happening again?!?

So how do you take responsibility for your issues to experience pure freedom and live a fabulous life? Stay tuned for Part 3 – WTF? Why is this happening to me again?

Ever have these thoughts?

Here we/I go again!
Is this situation EVER going to change?
If THEY/THIS would change my life would be so much better!

These are every day thoughts for most individuals, usually accompanied by emotional outbursts, anger, bewilderment, confusion and a desperate cry to the Universe of WTF? Why is this happening to me again?

Seldom does it occur to us, when we reach this state, that we are the ongoing consistency of each situation and experience birthing these thoughts. An, “I’m right, you’re wrong” response is the typical trap we fall into. We identify “them” as the “guilty party” or ourselves as a “victim of circumstance”. Frustration, shame, blame, guilt, and at times, conflict ensue. In most cases, it NEVER occurs to us that we might be the ones setting up this whole scenario. And, that we might be the ones to fix it.

As weird as it might sound, your circumstances are yours to fix. You are responsible for the people, events and circumstances that show up in your life. You are the one creating your anger, frustration, conflict and pain?  You and your issues!

Got your attention? Tune in for Part 2 of WTF? Why is this happening to me again?!?