Okay, so I had to write about it, right? Monday night Miss USA wiped out on the floor as she began her walk in the evening gown competition. I was so mortified for her, I closed my eyes in order not to experience the pain she must have felt falling on her rear end on global TV.

Interesting… I have watched beauty pageants since I was a little girl (remember, my “little girl” dream was to be Ms. America), and I’ve NEVER seen a contestant fall. It certainly would be one of my greatest fears.

You know what? She handled it beautifully. She got right back up with a smile on her face and kept going. Congratulations Ms. USA. You’ve now done “the fall”. Our worst beauty queen nightmare has happened and you survived…..and in the top 5, I might add.

There is one thing I wish Ms. USA had done differently however. When Tony Romo asked her what moment in her life she would most like to re-live. It would have rocked my world had she replied humorously, “Well, certainly not that spill I took a few minutes ago in the evening gown competition!”

I hang up the phone and all of a sudden…I hear it…sirens…coming closer and closer. OMG! They’re coming my way. I look out the window and pulling up in front of my house is a Big Red Fire Truck. I’m not believing this!!

I open the door and I stand there, puffed eyes from meditation crying, two day unwashed hair, hospital uniform pajamas, totally disheveled and panicked. Climbing down from that truck were 4 of the most handsome, in full garb fire men I had ever seen, and they were smiling at me (actually they were probably laughing). I say to them, “I’m so sorry to bother you. I didn’t mean for you to have to come out. I talked to the security company. I’m so sorry!”

The head fire dude asked me if I had burned breakfast. Embarrassingly I answered no, “I was burning my new incense”, I replied sheepishly. The four fire dudes smiled back at me, wished me a nice day, climbed back up on their truck and off they went, back to the station house I’m sure, to the quite peaceful morning they were enjoying before they got my call.

Then, I realized it was not my smoke alarm but my fire alarm, the one that is connected to my security service. OMG! Now what! About that time the phone rang. It was the security company asking for my password. What password? How the heck at a time like this was I suppose to remember a password? I was busy trying to open windows and fan smoke.

Totally frustrated by now, I gave the woman 3 choices for my password. Not going to work! I had to give her THE password, so I picked one, my mother’s maiden name. Isn’t that what we all do? She wouldn’t tell me if it was correct or incorrect and suggested I find my paperwork and call her back.

Okay, so now I go to my file cabinet hoping to find my papers. I do. However in the past 10 years I’ve had 3 different security companies so I have 3 different passwords in my file. Again, I pick one, call them back and confirm it is my mother’s maiden name. In the meantime, I took a chance, punched a few numbers on my keypad and the alarm shut off, FINALLY!

Okay Folks…time to share. Last Sunday morning I set the intention to meditate. My previous week and a half had been quite full, with a workshop, guests in town and getting back to work. I hadn’t been to the gym in two weeks to move energy, I was feeling rather dense and heavy. I decided to breathe it out and meditate.

Now, I’d recently purchased a new type of incense. Excited to burn it during my meditation, I lit the incense, then my candle, put on Amy Camie’s healing CD, sat in lotus position and off I went. I was deep in meditation when all of a sudden my smoke alarm went off, blaring that awful noise it makes, over and over, louder and louder. And, to top it off…….it was Sunday morning…….and only 9:00 AM.

Okay, so I panicked. This is the first time ever that my alarm has gone off. So what did I do? First I opened the windows in my bedroom and closed the door to get away from the smoke.  Then I ran to the kitchen to get a rag. I had seen my mom do this when her smoke alarm went off, so I waved the cloth back and forth at the alarm hoping it would shut off. It did not!

A couple from South Carolina and a couple from the Northeast were seated side by side on an airplane.
 
The girl from South Carolina, being friendly and all, said, “So, where y’all from?”
 
The Northeast girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”

The girl from South Carolina sat quietly for a few moments and then replied:

So, where y’all from, bitch?”

What’s an APB? It’s a broadcast to be on the “lookout” for a person of interest, like a suspect or a missing person. You know what? I have a funner idea of how to use the term.

What do ya think about Attitude, Perception and Belief? What if putting out an APB meant “being on the lookout” for my own attitude, perception and beliefs? What if, when something in my life felt suspect or missing I put out an APB? What if I was on the lookout, checking my own attitude, perception and belief about what’s suspect or missing?

I kind of like it. I think I’m going to add APB to the list of My New Words!!