• Do you feel like people listen when you talk?

• Do you listen when people talk to you?

• Perhaps your listening style is finishing people’s sentences for them, or worrying about what you’re going to say in response?

I read a blog post recently that was tremendously inspiring. The post was written by Lou Hampton at Speak to Lead. The story was titled, Michael Deaver – The Great Listener.  What a powerful testimony for EMPOWERED LISTENING and BEING HEARD.

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Okay….so I looked up the word Professional in the dictionary and here is what I read:

able, acknowledged, adept, competent, efficient, experienced, expert, finished, know stuff, known, learned, licensed, masterly, polished, practiced, proficient, qualified, sharp, skillful, trained, well-qualified

Here is a question to ponder: What kind of professional do you want to be? If you are to be acknowledged, competent, efficient, masterly, practiced, trained and polished at being you, what kind of you would you like to be?

Would you like to be a professional who practices and learns to be proficient and confident at what others need to you to be in order to make a good first impression? Or, would you like to be a professional who practices and learns to be proficient and confident at being YOU and expressing YOU, regardless of the impression?

I’m pondering………okay I’m done…I’m off to make my 1st impression….I’m off to be ME!!

In seconds subconscious perceptions of you are generated based on your economic background, education, social position and superficial factors such as wardrobe, hairstyle and manners.

In only 4 minutes they begin to judge your level of trustworthiness, reliability, intelligence, humility, confidence and capability.And the minute you open your mouth to speak perceptions and judgments abound based on the sound of your voice, how you speak and the content of what you say.

In other words people form perceptions, judgments and opinions about you, your character and abilities within 4 minutes of meeting you. None of those are necessarily based in the truth of who you are. 93% of first impressions about you are non-verbal. This means that other professionals are forming impressions about you based on a filter or view (opinions, judgments, perceptions) they have of themselves which they project onto you.

Interesting huh? I thought to myself, is this the belief system we are teaching young adults? Are we teaching them that who they are and how they interact with others will be judged immediately based on the perceptions, judgments and opinions those other individuals have of themselves? Are we teaching that is okay?

Are we fostering the concept that it is okay to form opinions of others within moments of meeting them? And, even more profound are we teaching young adults to change who they are, to mold themselves into a character and “professional” that is acceptable to the “professional world”, regardless if that is authentic to who they are?

Wow! Whatever happened to the concept of authenticity? What happened that we aren’t teaching young adults to be who they are and boldly express their truth? Why aren’t we teaching them that authenticity and truth is “professional” and draws to them circumstances, people, events and all the success they desire? What gives??
 

Interesting topic huh? This week I attended a required employee meeting at work. A professor at the USC School of Business delivered the presentation, Professionalism in the Workplace. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the presenter, her humor, interactive style and authenticity, the topic and the content of the presentation pushed a few buttons.

The focus of the presentation was on what one needs to “do” to be accepted and embraced as a “professional” in the “professional business world”. What one needs to “do” is based on how one is perceived and judged by other professionals in this professional business world. If one learns the rules and behaves accordingly, one will be accepted as “a business professional”.

So what are the rules of the professional business world (or tribe)? Stay tuned….

I am so grateful for my children. Over the years I have truly embraced them as my greatest teachers. I have learned so many things from them and get that they have much to share, when I’m listening.

I received a quick phone call from my daughter this evening. Jamie is studying alternative medicine and was coming home from class. She wanted to share an epiphany with me. She does this quite often and it rocks my soul!!

I love it that my 23 year old daughter is so “awake”. And, that we consciously get to share our epiphanies, our life lessons and our spiritual unfolding. It’s SWEET!!

So, Jamie calls and says, “You know mom. I have a greater understanding of my boundaries and how to honor myself after my lecture in class tonight. I know how to stop the chatter and gossip without allowing myself to get caught in the flow. I know what to say that keeps the responsibility for my energy and boundaries with me, without sounding like I’m better than or by making the other person wrong. I can simple offer:

I love you and I love connecting with you. However, this information serves no purpose in my life. If you have something to say to me from your heart, I am hear to listen. For now, I choose to honor me. Thank you.

I feel so liberated and clear. I know how to honor myself!!”

Whoa…what a gift in the message of wisdom from my little Buddha.

Do you have moments of contrast? 

I do. In fact, I had one this past week and weekend. It wasn’t until I received my Abraham Quote this morning, that I truly realized the power and gift of what contrast means in my life. Abraham’s quote:    

Law of Attraction abounds, and when it is said to you, “Ask, and it is given,” there is no more powerful statement than that. This is the basis of what makes things happen. Now, how is it that you ask? Do you ask with your words? The Universe doesn’t hear your words. You ask with your desire, and desire is born out of the contrast. It is desire & wanting. That’s what summons the Life Force.

The operative statement for me in this quote was, “desire is born out of the contrast”. I have been privy to an enormous amount of contrast recently. I have been feeling and intuiting what it is that I want to be doing and attracting into my life. And, I have been experiencing and learning CLEARLY what I don’t want.

My spirit has felt wounded at times. I’ve listened to the people around me react to and force circumstances in their lives, spew their agenda’s into the world without paying attention to who’s listening, and be more concerned with what they have to say than listening or hearing the other. I am amazed at how chaotic life can be when people don’t listen. I am amazed at how it wound’s the spirit when one is not heard.

When I read the quote this morning, I got an enormous gift and epiphany. I understood that the degree to which I feel wounded, frustrated, depressed, not heard, and disappointed with the listening around me, this is the degree to which I feel passion, compassion and desire to open up to and listen to myself and others.

We all have agendas, and we all have views and opinions, but are we listening? Are we making it a priority to hear, not just hear the words….but listen to what’s not being said? Are we asking the other person before we offer our opinion or launch into our filter of listening, how would you like me to listen to you? Are we truly feeling the desire of the heart that’s talking to us…..ours or the other?

I challenge you this morning as I challenge myself, and ask the question, “What are you listening for? And, are you truly listening?”

For information on listening skills and communication visit www.listeningprofitsu.com.