While playing around this week with the criteria for defining a “Rebel Belle, I thought of Jeff Foxworthy and his “You Might Be a Redneck If” comedy routine. Did you know there is a “You Might Be” Humor List?

Oh my god…I couldn’t believe it. I stumbled on their site while searching Jeff Foxworthy.I was cracking up at what you might be if. For example, you might be…….:

Anal-retentive if, a bachelor if, a Buffy watcher if, a computer geek if, a Martha Stewart junkie if, a Nascar fan if, out of touch with reality if, and my favorite…..a Yankee if.

I’m thinking about adding “You Might Be a Rebel Belle If…” to their list. I’d like to get your response first. I invite you to take the questionnaire and let me know what you think.

Are you a Rebel Belle?  “You Might Be a Rebel Belle If”.     

The final question, “What guidance would you offer to young southern women of today?” What poured forth was way wise wisdom for any woman, anywhere, at any age…

Listen to your own voice and trust your own instincts. The earlier you tap into your intuition and trust it, the better off you will be.

Be who you are all the time. Trust yourself, trust your inner voice. Take time to get to know you. Send time with yourself. Get to know what you really want.

Speak as well as write your hopes and dreams, no matter how outrageous you think they are. Don’t let other people limit what you know, believe and want to do. Keep dreaming, dream as big as you possibly can. The only thing that stands in the way is you.

Work your assets! Use your charm.

Be yourself. Don’t be afraid. Step out of the box. Embrace your freedom.

Listen to yourself rather than the culture around you.

I would tell them to break out of the box… but would they know what that means? Be independent!

Get out of the mold and be yourself. Think for yourself. Stand on your own two feet. Know who you are. Know your beliefs, thoughts and feelings and then share that part of who you are with others.

Stay true to yourself. Get quiet and listen to your heart. If you are passionate about something, pursue it and go after it. Don’t let others stifle or limit your dreams. “If it flips your skirt, go after it! Follow your dreams!

And, from my northern “bellefriends”…Respect yourself, your values and your opinions. Don’t let others tell you that you don’t know what is true for you.

Let yourself be who you are, whether it fits into an already determined label, path, and identity or whether it doesn’t. Let yourself be fully who you are Do what you enjoy and do whatever it takes to know what that is. Listen to yourself.

Thank you ladies for sharing your hearts, truth and bucket.

Continuing from yesterday, the second question I asked these southern belles was, “How did being a southern woman tend to keep you small or hinder  you in the expression of who you are?”  Their answers:

In my professional life I found an attitude of, “Hi honey, that’s nice, now go home and cook something”.

I was raised to be eye candy, have sex, make babies, and hire someone else to do the work. Men are the breadwinners in the family.

The southern rules of the polite exterior and sharp critical interior didn’t make sense to me.
 
I was told I was too loud, and that if I didn’t look like everyone else I had a serious character flaw.

As a black southern woman I felt invisible, unrecognized and not acknowledged.

I was taught it was arrogant to “toot my horn”.

I thought l had to cross over and take on more of a male role to be successful and powerful as a woman.

I was challenged to fit into the lace, frills, fru fru and “you all” type definition.

I thought I had a standard to live up to and it was quite confusing for me.

I didn’t know until I was a teenager that it was okay to use something other than white toilet paper or white sheets.

I think it was just the freedom and play. I really get how the charm benefited me, and yet when I moved out of that mold it was as if “all eyes were on me with who do you think you are?”

I was crushed that I couldn’t sit Indian style in my dress.

Stayed tuned for tomorrow. Hear how the southern belle label enhanced and expanded the expression and power of these same women.

Yesterday’s posting, “The Good Wife Guide” has been creating quite a stir among women. It reminded me how many boomer belles were handed their blueprints for life and the roles they were supposed to fulfill.

A few months back, I interviewed a number of southern boomer belles and asked the following questions:

How would you define a southern woman and do you consider yourself one?
Did the “southern belle” label keep you small and if so how?
Has the “southern belle” label expanded your power and if so how?
What guidance would you share with young southern women of today?

Here are a few of the answers to the question, how would you define a southern woman?

She is prissy, graceful, charming and always has to have it together.
She thinks she has a standard to live up to.
She has a powerful soul screaming to get out.
She has inner core strength beyond belief.
She is more global than her roots.
She is an outspoken woman who will speak her mind in a NY minute.
She never understood the rules.
She is well mannered, warm and has skeletons in the closet.
She can smile to your face and cut you behind your back.
She has an innate desire to nourish and care for others.
She is strong, has character and wants to make a difference. 
She creates and supports her sisterhood.
She is the queen of rebel belles.
She can stand on her own two feet and take care of herself.
She can step into any role, walk into any situation and adapt.
She is playful and likes to have fun.

Is this defining southern woman or could these be descriptions of all women? I’d love your thoughts!