Folks, is any part of this “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman scenario familiar to you?

Do you wake up, just like me, full of vim, vigor and enthusiasm for life, ready to make your mark on the world, to socialize and play at this game called life? Only to have, without warning someone or something come along and BURST YOUR BUBBLE?

Dumping expectations on you, burdening you with their rules and roles, they suck every ounce of joy and aliveness from your spirit. You wonder, “Where did the happy-go-lucky child of the Universe just go?”

I’m here to share what I do when I have days like this. I lighten up! I find that “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman and I remind her of something very important – REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! And, Lighten up!

LIGHTEN UP!

L – Live full out and on your terms!
I – Ignite your joy (boldly I might add)
G – Go forth with passion, purpose and play!
H – Happily create YOUR life.
T – Trust YOU.
E – Enthuse (Inflate) your juicy spirit.
N - NOW
U – YOU are a…
P – Playful Child of the Universe!!

Be exuberant. Go forth, socialize and play. And …REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE – a “Fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” fabulous young woman.
 

You did not come to this physical time and place to prove anything to anyone – to prove yourself worthy or to make your mark on the chart. You came forth out of sheer exuberance for life.
                                                          ~ Abraham - Hicks

Once upon a time there was a “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman living a cheerful life. Not a care in the world, full of vim, vigor and enthusiasm she bounced out the door calling, “I’m going to Chrissy’s house. She’s having a bunch of us over for a pool party. Be back later.”

A BOOMING response immediately came back startling the “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman, stopping her in her tracks.

“Not so fast young lady. Let me remind you of something very important before you walk out that door. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! Remember that how you behave today and every day, reflects not only on yourself, but also on me, your father, your brother and your sisters. Now…go forth with your sheer exuberance, and have a great time.”

WHAM! Like a pin suddenly popping an enormously inflated balloon the “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman instantly deflates. POOF! Her free spirit is gone. Her fun loving attitude is now one of frustration, anxiety and resolve.

“OMG!” she sighs, I’ve got to drag the entire family with me, again?” Burdened with what feels like 100 pounds of baggage dumped on her back, the once “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman surrenders her joy. Her once cheerfully inflated bubble now burst, she cries out….

“Why can’t I just be me? Why can’t I just have fun? Why do I have to carry everyone’s expectations with me everywhere I go?”

LIGHTEN UP everybody, for God’s sakes, just lighten up!

Folks, is any part of this scenario familiar to you? Stay tuned and discover what this “fun loving, free spirit, ready to go socialize and play” young woman does to Lighten Up!

I recently had the joy of interviewing a group of southern women. Here are a few AMAZING TRUTHS they shared and revealed:

• Every Southern woman desires to love and be loved for who she is. To love and serve others juices her spirit. To be accepted for who she is expands her possibilities, fuels her spirit, and rocks her world.

• Every Southern woman desires to fully and powerfully express her uniqueness and speak her truth. It is innate within her, to do otherwise will dim her light and diminish her spirit.

• Every Southern woman feels her calling to make a difference. Innate within her is the desire to serve, nurture, teach and empower herself, others, and the world with her mission.

• Every Southern woman has a desire for a sisterhood. She searches for other women of like mind, women who will accept and acknowledge her for who she is. She is juiced by women who share her enthusiasm for life, and by those who listen to and champion her dreams.

• Every Southern woman has a desire for fun. She knows when to work and she knows when to play. She loves to laugh. Kickin’ her skirt up and letting her hair down, she’s poised to rock the world with her juicy and joyful spirit.

In fact, after interviewing women from the south, I moved on to the north, east and west. And, you know what? WE’RE ALL FRICKIN’ AMAZING.

I discovered we all have the same desires to love, serve, express our uniqueness and share our playfulness with the world. I discovered …..

Every Southern woman is EVERY WOMAN. She shares the same hopes, fears and dreams of living the life she desires – boldly expressing her voice to the world, full out and on her terms!

Here are my Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small. Don’t let these reasons stunt your growth! (Download the article here)

A Southern Woman…                         

1. Keeps her gifts a secret.
She’s waiting for others to do what she must do for herself - celebrate her freedom and toot her own horn.

2. Plays by the rules she was given.
She’s been handed her list of rules and roles all her life. Stay in your place, look pretty, be gracious, don’t argue, don’t show up your husband…

3. Gives up her dreams and settles for what she has.
She has adopted the false truth that the life of her dreams is out of her reach. She’s squashed her spirit and inner passion deep down inside.

4. Boxes herself in with limits.
She’s afraid to step outside the boundaries of what is “normal” for a Southern woman. What will people think?

5. Is out of alignment with her power.
She feels guilt and shame when she lets her mind drift to questions about who she is and what she wants.

6. Chooses based on fear and conditioning.
Faced with a choice, she feels anxious, worried, confused, angry and frustrated. She’s not used to choosing for herself.

7. Is out of touch with her women’s intuition.
As a Southern woman, she was taught to hide her power, stay small, stuff her emotions and ignore her soul – her inner guide and compass. How can she know how she feels when she was trained that her body’s own wisdom can’t be trusted?

8. Isolates herself from her sources of support.
She feels guilty and not worthy of asking for help. She feels ashamed and weak for needing it. The truth is that every woman needs and deserves a coach, guide, mentor or teacher, a confidante to tell her the truth, someone to believe in her until she can believe in herself.

Sound familiar? Do any of these descriptions ring true for you? If so, it’s time to do some “real housekeeping.” Throw out the rules and roles that keep you small and find a NEW GUIDE (a-hem).

Today’s women, Southern or otherwise, is here to be bold, play big and make a difference in the world. She can learn to rise up, seize her inner power, and become a bold voice for self-expression. Empowerment is hers for the taking.

So… are you ready to discover your freedom, make your mark on the world, live your outrageous life… PLAYING BIG - full out and on your terms?

I’m waitin’ on ya…

As a woman from the south, born in the ’50s, I was raised to be small, quiet, polite and inauthentic, a perfect southern belle. The instructions were to look and act pretty, speak when spoken to and keep a low profile, ESPECIALLY around men. I was groomed to be a perfect southern housewife, much like “the good wife” described in the May 1955 Good Housekeeping article. Here were just a few of the steps from that guide:

Have a delicious meal ready and on time for your husband. Prepare the children, eliminate the noise, light a fire and put out his slippers. Prepare yourself. Freshen up. Put a ribbon in your hair. Let him know you are thinking of him and concerned for his needs. This will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Be happy to see him. His day may have been boring. Make him comfortable, have a cool drink ready for him, let him lie down if he needs to. Be sincere in your desire to please him and provide a place of peace and order where he can be renewed. This is your duty.

Do not ask questions. Do not complain. Listen to him. His topics of conversation are more important than yours. His is the master of the house. A good wife always knows her place…

Put a RIBBON in MY hair? Cater to HIS COMFORT? Never question HIS JUDGEMENT? Be sincere in my desire to PLEASE HIM?

Whew! Where is today’s amazing Southern woman in this description? No wonder Southern women of my era question who they are, what they are here to do and whether they need permission to follow their own inner guidance. No wonder southern women stay small avoid being bold or playing big in the world. And, this guide applies to all women, not just Southern women, right?!

As a coach, I work with remarkable, powerful and amazing women who know they are more than the roles they’ve played. They simply feel a little stuck and unsure of what to do next. These women have learned to be chameleons, becoming what they need to be, shifting roles from moment-to-moment; charming and graceful, weak and subservient or strong and powerful. They’re equipped to do it all.

So, what’s in the way? How is it that these Southern women, and many women for that matter, with these extraordinary skills frequently finds themselves wondering what’s next? Why do they question who they are and the value of their contribution to others? Why do these powerful women stay (or feel) so small?

Stay tuned for The Rebel Belle’s Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small….

Read the entire article

Folks, my friend and “bellepal” Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman, had an inspired response to the “1943 Guide to Hiring Women” blogpost.

Andrea has an amazing way of expressing her essence and uniqueness to world, with power, boldness, vulnerability and authenticity. She’s a juicy shot of joy and vitality! Check out her recent video response to my post: “Dieting Starts with Self Acceptance” .  

Thank you Andrea for your perseverance, and commitment to transformation, self love, self acknowledgement and self acceptance. You are a role model for women everywhere, a true “Belle with Balls”. I love ya!!