I recently had the joy of interviewing a group of southern women. Here are a few AMAZING TRUTHS they shared and revealed:

• Every Southern woman desires to love and be loved for who she is. To love and serve others juices her spirit. To be accepted for who she is expands her possibilities, fuels her spirit, and rocks her world.

• Every Southern woman desires to fully and powerfully express her uniqueness and speak her truth. It is innate within her, to do otherwise will dim her light and diminish her spirit.

• Every Southern woman feels her calling to make a difference. Innate within her is the desire to serve, nurture, teach and empower herself, others, and the world with her mission.

• Every Southern woman has a desire for a sisterhood. She searches for other women of like mind, women who will accept and acknowledge her for who she is. She is juiced by women who share her enthusiasm for life, and by those who listen to and champion her dreams.

• Every Southern woman has a desire for fun. She knows when to work and she knows when to play. She loves to laugh. Kickin’ her skirt up and letting her hair down, she’s poised to rock the world with her juicy and joyful spirit.

In fact, after interviewing women from the south, I moved on to the north, east and west. And, you know what? WE’RE ALL FRICKIN’ AMAZING.

I discovered we all have the same desires to love, serve, express our uniqueness and share our playfulness with the world. I discovered …..

Every Southern woman is EVERY WOMAN. She shares the same hopes, fears and dreams of living the life she desires – boldly expressing her voice to the world, full out and on her terms!

Women are always being tested…but ultimately, each of us has to define who we are individually and then do the very best job we can to grow in to.
~ Hillary Rodham Clinton                                                 
                                                                        
Did you ever want to be your Mom or the trusted group of women in her circle of friends? Did you imitate, emulate and practice “being” them? I did. Perhaps because I had enormous respect for who they were and how they lived their lives.

 As a young girl, my girlfriends and I would dress up in our mom’s clothes, shoes, jewelry, scarves and earrings and pretend to be these fabulous women. We’d host tea parties, bridge clubs, and other social gatherings. Just as we’d seen our mom’s do, we would daintily drink our cups of tea and coffee (totally sugared) and smoke our cigarettes (candy of course).

We’d socialize, share our frustrations, tell secrets, and talk about our deepest desires. We’d seen our     Mom’s embrace these moments of their ya-ya sisterhood, where they were free to pamper themselves,  let their hair down, laugh and play. 

(more…)

Here are my Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small. Don’t let these reasons stunt your growth! (Download the article here)

A Southern Woman…                         

1. Keeps her gifts a secret.
She’s waiting for others to do what she must do for herself - celebrate her freedom and toot her own horn.

2. Plays by the rules she was given.
She’s been handed her list of rules and roles all her life. Stay in your place, look pretty, be gracious, don’t argue, don’t show up your husband…

3. Gives up her dreams and settles for what she has.
She has adopted the false truth that the life of her dreams is out of her reach. She’s squashed her spirit and inner passion deep down inside.

4. Boxes herself in with limits.
She’s afraid to step outside the boundaries of what is “normal” for a Southern woman. What will people think?

5. Is out of alignment with her power.
She feels guilt and shame when she lets her mind drift to questions about who she is and what she wants.

6. Chooses based on fear and conditioning.
Faced with a choice, she feels anxious, worried, confused, angry and frustrated. She’s not used to choosing for herself.

7. Is out of touch with her women’s intuition.
As a Southern woman, she was taught to hide her power, stay small, stuff her emotions and ignore her soul – her inner guide and compass. How can she know how she feels when she was trained that her body’s own wisdom can’t be trusted?

8. Isolates herself from her sources of support.
She feels guilty and not worthy of asking for help. She feels ashamed and weak for needing it. The truth is that every woman needs and deserves a coach, guide, mentor or teacher, a confidante to tell her the truth, someone to believe in her until she can believe in herself.

Sound familiar? Do any of these descriptions ring true for you? If so, it’s time to do some “real housekeeping.” Throw out the rules and roles that keep you small and find a NEW GUIDE (a-hem).

Today’s women, Southern or otherwise, is here to be bold, play big and make a difference in the world. She can learn to rise up, seize her inner power, and become a bold voice for self-expression. Empowerment is hers for the taking.

So… are you ready to discover your freedom, make your mark on the world, live your outrageous life… PLAYING BIG - full out and on your terms?

I’m waitin’ on ya…

As a woman from the south, born in the ’50s, I was raised to be small, quiet, polite and inauthentic, a perfect southern belle. The instructions were to look and act pretty, speak when spoken to and keep a low profile, ESPECIALLY around men. I was groomed to be a perfect southern housewife, much like “the good wife” described in the May 1955 Good Housekeeping article. Here were just a few of the steps from that guide:

Have a delicious meal ready and on time for your husband. Prepare the children, eliminate the noise, light a fire and put out his slippers. Prepare yourself. Freshen up. Put a ribbon in your hair. Let him know you are thinking of him and concerned for his needs. This will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Be happy to see him. His day may have been boring. Make him comfortable, have a cool drink ready for him, let him lie down if he needs to. Be sincere in your desire to please him and provide a place of peace and order where he can be renewed. This is your duty.

Do not ask questions. Do not complain. Listen to him. His topics of conversation are more important than yours. His is the master of the house. A good wife always knows her place…

Put a RIBBON in MY hair? Cater to HIS COMFORT? Never question HIS JUDGEMENT? Be sincere in my desire to PLEASE HIM?

Whew! Where is today’s amazing Southern woman in this description? No wonder Southern women of my era question who they are, what they are here to do and whether they need permission to follow their own inner guidance. No wonder southern women stay small avoid being bold or playing big in the world. And, this guide applies to all women, not just Southern women, right?!

As a coach, I work with remarkable, powerful and amazing women who know they are more than the roles they’ve played. They simply feel a little stuck and unsure of what to do next. These women have learned to be chameleons, becoming what they need to be, shifting roles from moment-to-moment; charming and graceful, weak and subservient or strong and powerful. They’re equipped to do it all.

So, what’s in the way? How is it that these Southern women, and many women for that matter, with these extraordinary skills frequently finds themselves wondering what’s next? Why do they question who they are and the value of their contribution to others? Why do these powerful women stay (or feel) so small?

Stay tuned for The Rebel Belle’s Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small….

Read the entire article

One of my dearest bellefriends shared an email with me this month me. It touched my heart and soul deeply. I am delighted to share it with you.

Look at these precious little girls in a line holding hands, facing the immensity of ocean waves. Alone they might be washed away. Together they stand strong.
• All of us girls. old and young… near and far… hold special memories of good times we’ve shared.

• We’ve had our share of hard times when our friends were there to make us feel better.

• We’ve shared… our hearts, our time, our secrets, our fears, our hopes and our dreams.

Let us never break the chain of friends!

Thank you each for holding my hand somewhere along the way when I was facing a wave of my own. I hope you will reach for my hand when your own wave threatens.

A couple from South Carolina and a couple from the Northeast were seated side by side on an airplane.

The girl from South Carolina, being friendly and all, said, “So, where y’all from?”

The Northeast girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”

The girl from South Carolina sat quietly for a few moments and then replied:

So, where y’all from, bitch?”