Here are my Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small. Don’t let these reasons stunt your growth! (Download the article here)

A Southern Woman…                         

1. Keeps her gifts a secret.
She’s waiting for others to do what she must do for herself - celebrate her freedom and toot her own horn.

2. Plays by the rules she was given.
She’s been handed her list of rules and roles all her life. Stay in your place, look pretty, be gracious, don’t argue, don’t show up your husband…

3. Gives up her dreams and settles for what she has.
She has adopted the false truth that the life of her dreams is out of her reach. She’s squashed her spirit and inner passion deep down inside.

4. Boxes herself in with limits.
She’s afraid to step outside the boundaries of what is “normal” for a Southern woman. What will people think?

5. Is out of alignment with her power.
She feels guilt and shame when she lets her mind drift to questions about who she is and what she wants.

6. Chooses based on fear and conditioning.
Faced with a choice, she feels anxious, worried, confused, angry and frustrated. She’s not used to choosing for herself.

7. Is out of touch with her women’s intuition.
As a Southern woman, she was taught to hide her power, stay small, stuff her emotions and ignore her soul – her inner guide and compass. How can she know how she feels when she was trained that her body’s own wisdom can’t be trusted?

8. Isolates herself from her sources of support.
She feels guilty and not worthy of asking for help. She feels ashamed and weak for needing it. The truth is that every woman needs and deserves a coach, guide, mentor or teacher, a confidante to tell her the truth, someone to believe in her until she can believe in herself.

Sound familiar? Do any of these descriptions ring true for you? If so, it’s time to do some “real housekeeping.” Throw out the rules and roles that keep you small and find a NEW GUIDE (a-hem).

Today’s women, Southern or otherwise, is here to be bold, play big and make a difference in the world. She can learn to rise up, seize her inner power, and become a bold voice for self-expression. Empowerment is hers for the taking.

So… are you ready to discover your freedom, make your mark on the world, live your outrageous life… PLAYING BIG - full out and on your terms?

I’m waitin’ on ya…

As a woman from the south, born in the ’50s, I was raised to be small, quiet, polite and inauthentic, a perfect southern belle. The instructions were to look and act pretty, speak when spoken to and keep a low profile, ESPECIALLY around men. I was groomed to be a perfect southern housewife, much like “the good wife” described in the May 1955 Good Housekeeping article. Here were just a few of the steps from that guide:

Have a delicious meal ready and on time for your husband. Prepare the children, eliminate the noise, light a fire and put out his slippers. Prepare yourself. Freshen up. Put a ribbon in your hair. Let him know you are thinking of him and concerned for his needs. This will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Be happy to see him. His day may have been boring. Make him comfortable, have a cool drink ready for him, let him lie down if he needs to. Be sincere in your desire to please him and provide a place of peace and order where he can be renewed. This is your duty.

Do not ask questions. Do not complain. Listen to him. His topics of conversation are more important than yours. His is the master of the house. A good wife always knows her place…

Put a RIBBON in MY hair? Cater to HIS COMFORT? Never question HIS JUDGEMENT? Be sincere in my desire to PLEASE HIM?

Whew! Where is today’s amazing Southern woman in this description? No wonder Southern women of my era question who they are, what they are here to do and whether they need permission to follow their own inner guidance. No wonder southern women stay small avoid being bold or playing big in the world. And, this guide applies to all women, not just Southern women, right?!

As a coach, I work with remarkable, powerful and amazing women who know they are more than the roles they’ve played. They simply feel a little stuck and unsure of what to do next. These women have learned to be chameleons, becoming what they need to be, shifting roles from moment-to-moment; charming and graceful, weak and subservient or strong and powerful. They’re equipped to do it all.

So, what’s in the way? How is it that these Southern women, and many women for that matter, with these extraordinary skills frequently finds themselves wondering what’s next? Why do they question who they are and the value of their contribution to others? Why do these powerful women stay (or feel) so small?

Stay tuned for The Rebel Belle’s Top 8 Reasons Southern Women Stay Small….

Read the entire article

Yesterday, I shared a few of the thoughts that keep women STUCK, playing small and AFRAID to live from their inner voice and power.

On the upside, I hear from LOTS of bold women OUTRAGEOUSLY living their bellepower. These women are constantly CRANKING things up a notch and SQUEEZING the juice from their journey, FULL OUT and on their terms. Here were a few of THEIR comments:

I am open to endless possibilities for my life. (93% True)
I am open and honest about my issues, and willingly take them on. (88% True)
I love connecting with my girlfriends and bellefriends. (87% True)
I am aware of my inner voice and power. (84% True)
I am confident, strong willed and independent. (83% True)

Whoo hoo and a Rebel Belle Yell! I’m inspired.

Do you feel connected and aligned with your “BellePower”? Are you already on your path to FREEDOM and liberation, SQUEEZING every ounce of Juice and JOY from your journey?

Or, are you looking to CRANK it Up a Notch? Perhaps you feel that powerful voice SCREAMING to get out and need a li’l nudge to WAKE UP to your power and find your “ness”?

Wanna find out? Let’s go. I’m rootin’ for you and I’m here to guide the way. 

You know what? I haven’t always been able to say that… but today, it’s true. I LIKE BEING ME!

I even enjoy being a li’l selfish, putting myself first and occasionally TOOTIN’ my horn.

Is that ARROGANT? Some people think so.

It must be how come many women give a “False” response to the following “Are you Livin’ Your BellePower?” survey questions:

• I love myself completely and unconditionally (53% False)
• I celebrate my uniqueness and always put myself first. (65.3% False)
• I’m comfortable tootin’ my horn. (51.3% False)
• And… I am squeezing the juice and joy from my journey doing what I love to do. (48.7 % False)

Wow. WTF? How would YOU answer these questions? I’d love to know……

If you haven’t taken the survey…what are ya waitin’ for?

“Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them.”

I received this Daily Quote from Abraham-Hicks this morning and reacted immediately with the following thoughts:

OMG! Yes….this feels right. My mom NEVER allowed or taught me to be confident in making my decisions. At least that’s my perception and what I made up.

One of life’s defining moments of FREEDOM and EMPOWERMENT came at the age of 45. In the midst of divorcing my husband of 20 years, and according to my mom, uprooting my two small children from their world of security, my mom made this comment to me:

At what point Tuck, did your happiness become more important than that of your children’s?

I remember a long pause…..and having the THOUGHTS….

(more…)

My comadre and bellefriend Nancy Marmolejo over at Savy Comadre Blog is challenging a powerful and important myth and topic: Women Work and Life Balance. Is it possible to experience success and balance in all key areas of life?

A Rebel Belle Yell! to you for boldly asking this powerful question Nancy. My response is a resounding YES. Yes, yes and yes!

I BELIEVE WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL; love, well-being, children, work, relationships and FUN, all with a sense of outrageous freedom, squeezing as much juice and joy from their journey as possible.

How do I know this? I’M DOIN’ IT! And, I am blessed with fabulous clients who also commit to having EVERYTHING they want, putting themselves and their own happiness and well-being first. This includes having EVERYTHING they desire in life with a BALANCED sense of PURPOSE, PASSION AND PLAY. Whoo-hoo!

WHY DO WOMEN FEEL FULFILLMENT IN THEIR CAREERS AND LIFE IS AN EITHER/OR CHOICE?

(more…)